As a world travel lover, I know a thing or two about culture shock. Though I've never actually lived in another culture long term, I know that culture shock can catch you off guard, striking suddenly and forcefully, or it can sneak up on you subtly. Dictionary.com defines culture shock this way:
Function: n : a sense of confusion and uncertainty sometimes with feelings of anxiety that may affect people exposed to an alien culture or environment without adequate preparation
I experienced my most intense feelings of culture shock when I was in Russia for two days, back in 2005. We had just found out that our housing, food, and concert engagements had all been cancelled on us, and we had gone to a bank to at least try to exchange some money. On this particular trip, it was our first time in a country where no one even understood English. Russian people don't smile, and as I struggled to communicate with the woman changing my money, I suddenly had the weird revelation that I was the stranger here. I was the one who didn't know what was going on. I was the one who didn't understand the systems or the culture. I was the one who couldn't speak the right language. The feeling left me reeling to the point where one of my team members asked me if I was okay. Honestly, I wasn't sure I was. Aside from my teammates, NOTHING around me was familiar.
The feeling passed, or at least settled down, after we had settled into our hotel, leaving me with the memory of how powerful culture shock can be. Who would have ever guessed that five years later I would experience the same phenomenon... less than 20 miles from my home!
As you know if you've read my previous posts, I took a new job back in April, working for a high end interior designer. It was a fluke that the position opened up and that I was able to slide into it, and the whole hiring process took less than two days. Looking back now, I see that this alarmingly quick job transition probably qualifies as the "without adequate preparation" part of the definition of culture shock. I truly had very little idea of what I was getting into. But I jumped in with both feet because it seemed like God had opened the doors. I still believe He did, but during the last couple weeks I have reached the end of almost every day feeling completely wiped out and sometimes a little dazed. Though my days are long with my commute, and sometimes quite stressful when the bosses get high strung, when I chalked up the actual work I did I could not understand where my exhaustion was coming from... until yesterday, when I had my epiphany. Though my job is less than 20 miles from my house, the world of difference in cultures has been getting to me, and I have once again been suffering from culture shock!
I have shared with people time and again how vastly different the culture is on Palm Beach Island, so it's amazing to me that I didn't put two and two together sooner. Maybe even I didn't fully realize how dramatically different the Palm Beach world is from the world in which I've grown up, but my quiet little middle-class environment could not be farther removed from the world of opulence and materialism where I now spend most of my time. No wonder I was internally wigging out! Visiting the Island, a person naturally will be struck with the high class of living evident there. But I wasn't just visiting. I have been meeting the faces behind the mansions and living in their world, learning that I have to play by their rules and learn a new definition of normal. Visiting a client's house (or should I say "palatial estate") recently, I saw a book resting on a side table with this title-- Palm Beach-- The Insider's Guide to the Passions, Possessions, and Pleasures of the World's Richest Society. And there you have it. The passions, possessions, and pleasures of Palm Beach society are so complicated (and perhaps sometimes twisted?) that you need an "insider's guide" to navigate them. I wish I had known this before I waltzed in so unsuspectingly!
Realizing that culture shock has been one of the main challenges I've been facing the last couple months certainly does not make the culture any more homey or comfortable for me, but it does help to realize why since I began working here I have sometimes experienced "a sense of confusion and uncertainty, sometimes with feelings of anxiety." At least I don't have to be afraid that I'm totally losing my mind!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Cinderella's Job Report
Since starting my new job, the best word I've been able to come up with when people ask me how it's going is "challenging." Some challenges have been: accepting the smallness of my income while having to spend a small fortune in gas because of the commute, adjusting to Palm Beach culture, learning how to deal with adult men who act like teenage girls, spending hours folding fabric while people freak out, yell, and curse around me, getting used to the feeling of a knife in my back, etc. Turns out working for a very successful, high end interior design company is not as easy as icing cupcakes! However, I have realized lately that I have spent a lot of time, let's be honest, complaining to God about the job He provided for me. And that's not right. He has me here for a reason, and I truly am grateful! I need to keep myself reminded of that. So, in an effort to change my attitude, here are some of the truly good and occassionally awesome things about my new job:
-I am getting exposure to some of the most beautiful home decor items I have ever seen
-I get to hold and be around antiques that have been around hundreds of years (think of the history!)
-I get to handle gorgeous fabrics I'd never be able to afford to buy or use ($150/yd?!?!)
-My working interior design and antique vocabulary is broadening and getting more impressive
-Palm Beach Island IS beautiful, and I get to spend time here every day
-I am within walking distance from the beach all the time, and even though I can't go I love knowing that
-I'm learning a lot about... well... gay men... and getting really good at picking them out of a crowd (always a good skill when you're single and on the look-out!)
-I generally get some walking time every day, as the post office, the bank, Starbucks, and several little lunch spots are all within a few blocks
-Sandwiches by the Sea has the most amazing brownies EVER!
-My main co-worker thinks I'm great and has an amazingly sarcastic sense of humor
-My main co-worker is also fascinated by my faith (pray for me for boldness with this one!)
-I am learning a lot about how an interior design company works... though at times I think it might scare me away!
-I sometimes even have a little downtime at work to blog
-My prayer life is AMAZING right now (God help me God help me God help me...)
-A hard but good lesson, it takes God's strength not to get wrapped up in petty gossip when everyone around you is doing it
-Free Liptons citrus green tea, as much as I can drink!
-Chandeliers and gilded mirrors in the bathroom, a luxury I will probably never have in my own home
-I've always been interested in missions... and I am truly on the front lines now... though it doesn't look one bit like I thought it would! Palm Beach culture, honestly, is about as godless as it gets. But being here is a faith walk every day!
So thank You, God, for my job...
-I am getting exposure to some of the most beautiful home decor items I have ever seen
-I get to hold and be around antiques that have been around hundreds of years (think of the history!)
-I get to handle gorgeous fabrics I'd never be able to afford to buy or use ($150/yd?!?!)
-My working interior design and antique vocabulary is broadening and getting more impressive
-Palm Beach Island IS beautiful, and I get to spend time here every day
-I am within walking distance from the beach all the time, and even though I can't go I love knowing that
-I'm learning a lot about... well... gay men... and getting really good at picking them out of a crowd (always a good skill when you're single and on the look-out!)
-I generally get some walking time every day, as the post office, the bank, Starbucks, and several little lunch spots are all within a few blocks
-Sandwiches by the Sea has the most amazing brownies EVER!
-My main co-worker thinks I'm great and has an amazingly sarcastic sense of humor
-My main co-worker is also fascinated by my faith (pray for me for boldness with this one!)
-I am learning a lot about how an interior design company works... though at times I think it might scare me away!
-I sometimes even have a little downtime at work to blog
-My prayer life is AMAZING right now (God help me God help me God help me...)
-A hard but good lesson, it takes God's strength not to get wrapped up in petty gossip when everyone around you is doing it
-Free Liptons citrus green tea, as much as I can drink!
-Chandeliers and gilded mirrors in the bathroom, a luxury I will probably never have in my own home
-I've always been interested in missions... and I am truly on the front lines now... though it doesn't look one bit like I thought it would! Palm Beach culture, honestly, is about as godless as it gets. But being here is a faith walk every day!
So thank You, God, for my job...
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
What's on the Dogtags?
When a person joins the military, one of the first items issued is a pair of dogtags. As you likely already know, this is a pair of metal plates, worn around the neck, that generally contain the wearer's name, social security number, blood type, and religion. They are his identification. Though they are somewhat impersonal, they contain the essential information on the soldier. Thinking about it, I believe we often have a tendency to create imaginary dogtags for ourselves, even without even realizing it. We construct an idea of what identifies us and then hang this identitiy around ourselves as an inseparable part of who we are. Unfortunately, our "dogtag identity" can easily become more complicated that we can handle, offering security and significance that we can wear proudly, but then often bringing cruel self-criticism, harsh labels, and shortcomings we'd really rather keep tucked away.
What do we put on our dogtags? We base our identities on a lot of different factors, ranging from simple facts, like gender and age, circumstantial facts, like occupation and marital status, to far deeper issues that comprise our opinions of ourselves, including our emotions, relationships, and life experiences. Safe to say, our self-constructed dogtags are infinitely more complex that those worn by our soldiers. Sometimes I even feel like I wake up re-writing my dog tags every morning! Sometimes this is for the simple reason that circumstances change. This time last year, I was a college student. I was the principal flutist in the LU Symphony. I was an honors student. Now I'm no longer any of these things. What does this mean? IDENTITY CRISIS?!
Hopefully not. But it shows that often even the simple things we use to identify ourselves are totally unreliable. And the less tangible things, like emotions and relationships, are generally even less stable than our circumstances! From day to day they can shift dramatically. This morning I had coffee, I felt energetic, I sold a fabulous antique, my boss praised me. It's a good day on the dogtags: "Young aspiring interior designer, energetic and determined, asset to the corporation." I got a compliment from someone whom I admire; I eagerly scratch into my plates, "Young attractive blonde, pleasant personality, definitely a worthwhile person."
But how about the days when things don't go so smoothly? The days when not only do your circumstances seem to be falling in around you, but you seem to fail at every single thing you put your hand to? Your clothes are all shrinking, you say something that comes out horribly wrong and with undesirable consequences. You realize you've made some bad decisions and everything seems to be coming apart at the seams. Worst of all, you feel that the whole thing is your fault. How do your dogtags look on a day like that? "Incapable, unattractive, in it alone, not worth it."
Now I am not saying that it is sinful to search for something on which to base your identity. But wouldn't you agree that it can be, well, exhausting sometimes? I joke about the complete lack of certainty in my life right now. However, the past year has made me realize in some painful ways how careful a person has to be when building an identity to stand on. For an honest moment, I want you to think of all the characteristics by which you identify yourself. All of the the physical features, education, all the talents and shortcomings, all the relationships, joys and heartaches... you get the idea. Now ask this question. How many of those things could change suddenly without warning? If we're brutally honest, almost all of them. You could move, lose or change jobs, you'll keep getting older and your physical appearance will keep changing. People go in and out of our lives and often let us down... and yet we try to base the entire foundation of who we are on these uncertainties!
So much in my life has gone differently than I expected in these last twelve months that I have had to painfully divorce myself from a lot of the identifying characteristics I was clinging to. At times it has just been a little uncomforable; at times it has hurt deeply and brought me to tears. But through it God taught me a valuable lesson, and coming out the other side He is showing me one of the most amazing truths I have ever learned.
In Jesus Christ, in God, we have an identity that can never, ever be shaken. Can you just imagine?! In God's eyes, we are His children. In God's eyes, I am His precious and beautiful daughter. I am of so much value to Him that He was willing to sacrifice Himself for me. In God's eyes, I don't change from day to from being a success to a failure, beautiful to ugly, loved to unloved. In God's eyes, my identity will never change. And there is absolutely nothing on earth or in heaven or hell that will ever, ever change who I am to Him!
I don't know if that strikes you the same way it strikes me. I guess it's one of those things I thought I knew but didn't truly realize until God peeled my fingers back from all the trivial characteristics I was desperately hanging on to. He showed me that though they might make me feel more secure, I had nothing to gain from tying myself to such inconsistency.
While we're here on earth, it probably isn't possible to entirely separate ourselves from human forms of identification. But knowing that what God says is the most important thing in determining who we are is one of the most freeing feelings in the world! I feel like I have a secret now when I walk across the parking lot on my way to work. Other people might see an average twenty-something going to her humble, poorly-paying, artsy job, but I know something they don't know! The value of any thing is determined entirely by what a person is willing to pay for it, and God paid Himself so that He could have my heart for His own. I am worth the world to Him. Now that's an identity that I can live with!
Whatever it is you're hanging on to to give yourself identity and significance, try laying it down for just a moment and let your eyes be opened to what God says about you. You might just find that that is the identity you want to stand on.
It's difficult, but I'm trying to let go of the dogtags now. At least the ones I've been writing.
Maybe we should start letting God write our dogtags. After all, He's God, He created us, and He loves us. He is far more qualified to write our identities than we are!
What do we put on our dogtags? We base our identities on a lot of different factors, ranging from simple facts, like gender and age, circumstantial facts, like occupation and marital status, to far deeper issues that comprise our opinions of ourselves, including our emotions, relationships, and life experiences. Safe to say, our self-constructed dogtags are infinitely more complex that those worn by our soldiers. Sometimes I even feel like I wake up re-writing my dog tags every morning! Sometimes this is for the simple reason that circumstances change. This time last year, I was a college student. I was the principal flutist in the LU Symphony. I was an honors student. Now I'm no longer any of these things. What does this mean? IDENTITY CRISIS?!
Hopefully not. But it shows that often even the simple things we use to identify ourselves are totally unreliable. And the less tangible things, like emotions and relationships, are generally even less stable than our circumstances! From day to day they can shift dramatically. This morning I had coffee, I felt energetic, I sold a fabulous antique, my boss praised me. It's a good day on the dogtags: "Young aspiring interior designer, energetic and determined, asset to the corporation." I got a compliment from someone whom I admire; I eagerly scratch into my plates, "Young attractive blonde, pleasant personality, definitely a worthwhile person."
But how about the days when things don't go so smoothly? The days when not only do your circumstances seem to be falling in around you, but you seem to fail at every single thing you put your hand to? Your clothes are all shrinking, you say something that comes out horribly wrong and with undesirable consequences. You realize you've made some bad decisions and everything seems to be coming apart at the seams. Worst of all, you feel that the whole thing is your fault. How do your dogtags look on a day like that? "Incapable, unattractive, in it alone, not worth it."
Now I am not saying that it is sinful to search for something on which to base your identity. But wouldn't you agree that it can be, well, exhausting sometimes? I joke about the complete lack of certainty in my life right now. However, the past year has made me realize in some painful ways how careful a person has to be when building an identity to stand on. For an honest moment, I want you to think of all the characteristics by which you identify yourself. All of the the physical features, education, all the talents and shortcomings, all the relationships, joys and heartaches... you get the idea. Now ask this question. How many of those things could change suddenly without warning? If we're brutally honest, almost all of them. You could move, lose or change jobs, you'll keep getting older and your physical appearance will keep changing. People go in and out of our lives and often let us down... and yet we try to base the entire foundation of who we are on these uncertainties!
So much in my life has gone differently than I expected in these last twelve months that I have had to painfully divorce myself from a lot of the identifying characteristics I was clinging to. At times it has just been a little uncomforable; at times it has hurt deeply and brought me to tears. But through it God taught me a valuable lesson, and coming out the other side He is showing me one of the most amazing truths I have ever learned.
In Jesus Christ, in God, we have an identity that can never, ever be shaken. Can you just imagine?! In God's eyes, we are His children. In God's eyes, I am His precious and beautiful daughter. I am of so much value to Him that He was willing to sacrifice Himself for me. In God's eyes, I don't change from day to from being a success to a failure, beautiful to ugly, loved to unloved. In God's eyes, my identity will never change. And there is absolutely nothing on earth or in heaven or hell that will ever, ever change who I am to Him!
I don't know if that strikes you the same way it strikes me. I guess it's one of those things I thought I knew but didn't truly realize until God peeled my fingers back from all the trivial characteristics I was desperately hanging on to. He showed me that though they might make me feel more secure, I had nothing to gain from tying myself to such inconsistency.
While we're here on earth, it probably isn't possible to entirely separate ourselves from human forms of identification. But knowing that what God says is the most important thing in determining who we are is one of the most freeing feelings in the world! I feel like I have a secret now when I walk across the parking lot on my way to work. Other people might see an average twenty-something going to her humble, poorly-paying, artsy job, but I know something they don't know! The value of any thing is determined entirely by what a person is willing to pay for it, and God paid Himself so that He could have my heart for His own. I am worth the world to Him. Now that's an identity that I can live with!
Whatever it is you're hanging on to to give yourself identity and significance, try laying it down for just a moment and let your eyes be opened to what God says about you. You might just find that that is the identity you want to stand on.
It's difficult, but I'm trying to let go of the dogtags now. At least the ones I've been writing.
Maybe we should start letting God write our dogtags. After all, He's God, He created us, and He loves us. He is far more qualified to write our identities than we are!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Birthday Presents
Two posts ago I promised to share the story of what God did for me when I started asking HIM to do the work rather than asking His advice. This is the promised story.
My job experience since graduating hasn't exactly been a walk in the park. While it hasn't been a nightmare, it hasn't been a fun little cupcake party either. I've tried a lot of paths recently that seemed to lead nowhere. I worked for a short while selling furniture... didn't even make it to 90 days before I quit. That wasn't my calling. Then I turned down a $30,000/year job because I didn't think it was the right thing for me... and of course spent the next weeks wondering if I'd made a huge mistake. Then I ended up at the desk where I am sitting now, watching the front door of a little glasses shop/optometrist office. It isn't hell, but if it was physically possible to die of boredom, I'd probably be dead now. And all the while I've wondered, "What the heck is God preparing me for? Does He not remember that I actually want my life to have some purpose?" Of course I knew in my deepest heart that He had a plan, but it has been a challenge!
Last Sunday God, apparently knowing that I was about to lose my mind, gave me encouragement by way of two Bible verses that popped out at me in my reading. Check this out:
May He grant you according to your heart's desire,
And fulfill all your purpose.
We will rejoice in Your salvation,
And in the name of our God we will set up our banners!
May the Lord fulfill all your petitions.
~Psalm 20:4-5
I'm telling you, I felt like the Lord spoke those verses to me. As Christians, we sometimes get it into our heads that God wants us to suffer! But here God gave me a promise that He cared about my heart's desires and that He hadn't forgotten me. And something about the word "banners" just makes me think of joyful excitement and victory. So, armed with this verse, I sallied forth into my week. And what a week!
Four days before God showed me those verses, I saw a job ad on Craig's List for a "Showroom Assistant" for a high-end antique and interior design company. I filed it away as a position that I should apply for, even though the ad did not give the name of the company. The next day I got a call from a girl I worked with (briefly, let me remind you) at La-Z-Boy. I knew through facebook that she had recently taken a new position working for a successful interior designer, but in spite of the occasional facebook contact, I never really expected to see her or have her be a part of my life again. Wrong! God's plans are much more elaborate and intricate than that!
Kathia called to tell me that there was a position opening up at her new job, and she wanted me to apply. Well, guess what. The position she called to tell me about was the same one I saw on Craig's List.
So I faxed in my resume on Friday and promptly braced myself for the worst. I didn't hear anything Friday, and since I knew they wanted to start interviewing on Monday I kind of assumed nothing would come of it.
Sunday: God gave me the above mentioned verses.
Monday morning: I received a call asking me to come in for an interview that afternoon.
Interviewed in a flurry of excitement and nerves.
Monday afternoon: Got a call asking me to come back Tuesday for a second interview with the head honcho.
Tuesday afternoon: Told God as I was driving to the interview that I was pretty sure I was in over my head, and I knew I would only get the job if He gave it to me.
Tuesday evening: Offered the job. :)
Wednesday morning: gave my notice at my current job.
Next Monday will be my first day at my new job. If you are interested in checking out the company, their website is www.williamreubanks.com. It is swanky, and I know I'll need God's grace every day as a I get started there... it will definitely be a stretch outside my comfort zone!
But here is, in my opinion, the coolest part of the whole story. About a month, month and a half ago, before any of this got started, I prayed a crazy thing. I prayed that God would give me a new job for my birthday.
Guess what. My birthday is April 9th, this Friday. This Friday, my birthday, will be my last day at my old job. "Happy Birthday, Joanna; I love you." -God
My job experience since graduating hasn't exactly been a walk in the park. While it hasn't been a nightmare, it hasn't been a fun little cupcake party either. I've tried a lot of paths recently that seemed to lead nowhere. I worked for a short while selling furniture... didn't even make it to 90 days before I quit. That wasn't my calling. Then I turned down a $30,000/year job because I didn't think it was the right thing for me... and of course spent the next weeks wondering if I'd made a huge mistake. Then I ended up at the desk where I am sitting now, watching the front door of a little glasses shop/optometrist office. It isn't hell, but if it was physically possible to die of boredom, I'd probably be dead now. And all the while I've wondered, "What the heck is God preparing me for? Does He not remember that I actually want my life to have some purpose?" Of course I knew in my deepest heart that He had a plan, but it has been a challenge!
Last Sunday God, apparently knowing that I was about to lose my mind, gave me encouragement by way of two Bible verses that popped out at me in my reading. Check this out:
May He grant you according to your heart's desire,
And fulfill all your purpose.
We will rejoice in Your salvation,
And in the name of our God we will set up our banners!
May the Lord fulfill all your petitions.
~Psalm 20:4-5
I'm telling you, I felt like the Lord spoke those verses to me. As Christians, we sometimes get it into our heads that God wants us to suffer! But here God gave me a promise that He cared about my heart's desires and that He hadn't forgotten me. And something about the word "banners" just makes me think of joyful excitement and victory. So, armed with this verse, I sallied forth into my week. And what a week!
Four days before God showed me those verses, I saw a job ad on Craig's List for a "Showroom Assistant" for a high-end antique and interior design company. I filed it away as a position that I should apply for, even though the ad did not give the name of the company. The next day I got a call from a girl I worked with (briefly, let me remind you) at La-Z-Boy. I knew through facebook that she had recently taken a new position working for a successful interior designer, but in spite of the occasional facebook contact, I never really expected to see her or have her be a part of my life again. Wrong! God's plans are much more elaborate and intricate than that!
Kathia called to tell me that there was a position opening up at her new job, and she wanted me to apply. Well, guess what. The position she called to tell me about was the same one I saw on Craig's List.
So I faxed in my resume on Friday and promptly braced myself for the worst. I didn't hear anything Friday, and since I knew they wanted to start interviewing on Monday I kind of assumed nothing would come of it.
Sunday: God gave me the above mentioned verses.
Monday morning: I received a call asking me to come in for an interview that afternoon.
Interviewed in a flurry of excitement and nerves.
Monday afternoon: Got a call asking me to come back Tuesday for a second interview with the head honcho.
Tuesday afternoon: Told God as I was driving to the interview that I was pretty sure I was in over my head, and I knew I would only get the job if He gave it to me.
Tuesday evening: Offered the job. :)
Wednesday morning: gave my notice at my current job.
Next Monday will be my first day at my new job. If you are interested in checking out the company, their website is www.williamreubanks.com. It is swanky, and I know I'll need God's grace every day as a I get started there... it will definitely be a stretch outside my comfort zone!
But here is, in my opinion, the coolest part of the whole story. About a month, month and a half ago, before any of this got started, I prayed a crazy thing. I prayed that God would give me a new job for my birthday.
Guess what. My birthday is April 9th, this Friday. This Friday, my birthday, will be my last day at my old job. "Happy Birthday, Joanna; I love you." -God
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
"THAT is the right question."
I don't remember much about the movie I, Robot. I enjoyed it, but it IS a guy movie, and while I like guys movies, sometimes I'm not too good at remember the details. One thing I do remember, though, is the heavy emphasis that was put on asking the "right questions." Only when the characters asked "the right questions" (whatever THAT meant!) would they receive the answers they needed.
Recently, I have had a LOT of questions for God. In my search for a new job, my questions have gone something like this: "God, what should I do?" "God, what type of job should I look for?" "God, where should I apply?" "God, what type of avenues should I try?"... etc., etc. You get the idea. But notice the key word in all these questions. "I." A big, fat "I." Though I was trying to do the right thing in asking God's advice, the phrasing of my questions betrays the fact that my reliance was still in the wrong place! All those questions I was asking were to a very distant God. I was asking God to look down from heaven and tell me down on earth what to do. Then I could go out and carry it out.
Here's another question. If we have a God who is willing to go to battle FOR us, willing to actively CARE for us, willing to move mountains and part seas, why on EARTH would I ask His ADVICE?! What I should be asking is for HIM to go to battle for me, for HIM to pull together all the details that I can't control, for HIM to open the doors that I have no way of opening, and for HIM to make the way for me! He has shown over and over again in His word and in my life that He is MORE than willing to do that. In fact, He is just WAITING for someone to ask Him to do something awesome!
I finally came to this realization a couple Saturdays ago during my prayer time. For the millionth time I was asking God in desperation, "What should I do?" When I suddenly realized.
Maybe that's the wrong question.
Since that day, I've had to make a conscious effort to change my prayers. It has been hard to change my mindset so drastically, but I realized that my reliance needed to be on God and God alone. I know that even a lot of Christians would say that I still needed to be "proactive" and still be "trying doors," but believe me, I've been proactively trying doors for a year now, and I have faced frustration after frustration. I decided to give God a try. I decided to stop trying myself. And I started asking God if HE would open the doors and if HE would please work it out so that everyone around me would know that it was HIS handiwork and not mine.
And apparently, THAT is the right question.
God was just waiting for me to ask Him to reveal HIS power!
He has, and I will be happy to tell you all about it... in my next post. :)
Ask God to do something great. Ask Him to make it His work and not yours. Then step back and watch what He will do!
Recently, I have had a LOT of questions for God. In my search for a new job, my questions have gone something like this: "God, what should I do?" "God, what type of job should I look for?" "God, where should I apply?" "God, what type of avenues should I try?"... etc., etc. You get the idea. But notice the key word in all these questions. "I." A big, fat "I." Though I was trying to do the right thing in asking God's advice, the phrasing of my questions betrays the fact that my reliance was still in the wrong place! All those questions I was asking were to a very distant God. I was asking God to look down from heaven and tell me down on earth what to do. Then I could go out and carry it out.
Here's another question. If we have a God who is willing to go to battle FOR us, willing to actively CARE for us, willing to move mountains and part seas, why on EARTH would I ask His ADVICE?! What I should be asking is for HIM to go to battle for me, for HIM to pull together all the details that I can't control, for HIM to open the doors that I have no way of opening, and for HIM to make the way for me! He has shown over and over again in His word and in my life that He is MORE than willing to do that. In fact, He is just WAITING for someone to ask Him to do something awesome!
I finally came to this realization a couple Saturdays ago during my prayer time. For the millionth time I was asking God in desperation, "What should I do?" When I suddenly realized.
Maybe that's the wrong question.
Since that day, I've had to make a conscious effort to change my prayers. It has been hard to change my mindset so drastically, but I realized that my reliance needed to be on God and God alone. I know that even a lot of Christians would say that I still needed to be "proactive" and still be "trying doors," but believe me, I've been proactively trying doors for a year now, and I have faced frustration after frustration. I decided to give God a try. I decided to stop trying myself. And I started asking God if HE would open the doors and if HE would please work it out so that everyone around me would know that it was HIS handiwork and not mine.
And apparently, THAT is the right question.
God was just waiting for me to ask Him to reveal HIS power!
He has, and I will be happy to tell you all about it... in my next post. :)
Ask God to do something great. Ask Him to make it His work and not yours. Then step back and watch what He will do!
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Welcome, Joanna!
Have you ever noticed how excited electronic devices get whenever we approach them? Log into your email, and your computer responds with "Welcome, insert your name here!" Then eagerly fills you in with the latest-- "You have 6 unread messages!" And obligingly asks, "Would you like to insert random command now?" But the sad reality is that in spite of this appearance of friendship, our computers don't actually care much about our happiness. They can turn on us in an instant with one of those heartless messages, such as, "Critical program has experienced an unexpected error and must now close. You will lose any unsaved work. Would you like to continue?" To which in response you have no choice but to click OKAY or take a chainsaw to your computer, as the CANCEL button is generally not an option.
Obviously, computers cannot be relied on to be consistent friends, and unfortunately, I'm finding that life is often very similar. Like many of my peers, I had some idea that life after graduation would suddenly simplify. Well, the joke's on me! Looking ahead to my graduation I saw the rest of my life with a cheery "Welcome, Joanna!" sign over it, not realizing that just like my computer, that sign can just as quickly be followed by an error message. My computer, despite being on of my greatest allies, has an alarming propensity to turn on me suddenly, and I'm starting to notice the same pattern in "life in the real world." Just when you think everything's developing all peachy keen, you get an "Operation must be aborted" message, and you're back to ground zero.
If there's one thing I've learned from all I've been through with my computer, it is that sometimes patience is the only option. Trust me, screaming at your screen, pressing every key at once, and banging your fist on your desk next to the monitor will generally just leave you hoarse, with a sticky keyboard and a bruised hand. The computer will remain unresponsive. Sometimes, you just have to wait. And unfortunately for me, who would really prefer the high-speed, error free route, life in general is seeming to be a lot like my computer.
Sometimes you just have to wait.
So this is me, at present. I'm waiting. And like my good friend Rachel, I try to use humor to see the lighter side of my life's error messages. Sometimes my computer's less-than-lightening pace makes me want to put my fist through the screen, and sometimes the pace of my life makes me want to put my head through a wall, but usually I don't do either. In this crazy American-paced culture, maybe it's good to slow down and have to wait sometimes.
And here's the promise. As certain as I am the morning will come tomorrow morning, I am that much more certain that God will be faithful to work out His plan in my life.
PSALM 130:5-6
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
And in His word I do hope.
My soul waits for the Lord
More than those who watch for the morning—
Yes, more than those who watch for the morning.
Obviously, computers cannot be relied on to be consistent friends, and unfortunately, I'm finding that life is often very similar. Like many of my peers, I had some idea that life after graduation would suddenly simplify. Well, the joke's on me! Looking ahead to my graduation I saw the rest of my life with a cheery "Welcome, Joanna!" sign over it, not realizing that just like my computer, that sign can just as quickly be followed by an error message. My computer, despite being on of my greatest allies, has an alarming propensity to turn on me suddenly, and I'm starting to notice the same pattern in "life in the real world." Just when you think everything's developing all peachy keen, you get an "Operation must be aborted" message, and you're back to ground zero.
If there's one thing I've learned from all I've been through with my computer, it is that sometimes patience is the only option. Trust me, screaming at your screen, pressing every key at once, and banging your fist on your desk next to the monitor will generally just leave you hoarse, with a sticky keyboard and a bruised hand. The computer will remain unresponsive. Sometimes, you just have to wait. And unfortunately for me, who would really prefer the high-speed, error free route, life in general is seeming to be a lot like my computer.
Sometimes you just have to wait.
So this is me, at present. I'm waiting. And like my good friend Rachel, I try to use humor to see the lighter side of my life's error messages. Sometimes my computer's less-than-lightening pace makes me want to put my fist through the screen, and sometimes the pace of my life makes me want to put my head through a wall, but usually I don't do either. In this crazy American-paced culture, maybe it's good to slow down and have to wait sometimes.
And here's the promise. As certain as I am the morning will come tomorrow morning, I am that much more certain that God will be faithful to work out His plan in my life.
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
And in His word I do hope.
My soul waits for the Lord
More than those who watch for the morning—
Yes, more than those who watch for the morning.
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